Mixed Emotions

I tend to feel good when I can hide a blog from my friends and family, because then I can write stuff like this without having to change the story or anything.

Not that I’m writing anything bad. I just want to write freely.

So, you’ve heard the news! My exchange student is coming TOMORROW!!! 

I am super excited! Today has gone by so fast!

First, I got up at six in the morning to go to mass with my boyfriend. Right before the closing prayer, the father called me out! XD

“We have a new member of our church. Her name is Mary. She will be attending the upcoming conversion classes at the church.”

That made me both happy and embarrassed.

We then had breakfast with each other, went to a University store, where I bought a magazine organizer to organize flyers, information forms, etc. Then we went to a community college (I think we were there for two or three hours) to get my boyfriend registered for classes, before going to my high school to drop off the present and visit with our sponsor, before getting a late lunch.

All has been well, and a relatively good day.

Then it happened.

My boyfriend was kind of teasing me (not in a mean way by any means), and I’ve just been stressed and not wanting to show it, and I took it as rude, and might’ve hurt his feelings. Well, got it fixed up and everything, and we’re cool now.

Then, as I was cleaning the house for tomorrow, I get a call. I missed it, but the voicemail was basically this:

The store that you applied at basically doesn’t need what you applied for anymore, and the fact that you would have to miss school to be in this other application, we’ll keep your resume on file.

UUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Right. Ooooof course. Just great. Fabulous. It’s not like that was the eighth or ninth job that I’ve applied to. This was the only one that has gotten back to me.

So, after a little bit of convincing from my boyfriend, I applied at the store he works at. I wouldn’t be working with him, of course, saying how he would be there at five in the morning, and I wouldn’t be there until five in the afternoon.

Updating my resume. With Word. It’s easier for me. I can change everything, I know how to use the program pretty well, there aren’t any mistakes.

Tell boyfriend.

“No, don’t use that! Use the site that the schools use for everything!”

Okay, sure. Whatever, fine. Not like I’m super stressed and disappointed with myself while you’re yogaing.

Use that to make a resume.

The stupid home number wasn’t put as my home number. IT WAS PUT AS MY MOM’S PHONE NUMBER AND I CAN’T CHANGE IT!!!!!!!!

After a bit of crying and getting stressed out from that and not understanding a few points in the application, I just put a comment saying that the phone number was bad and can’t be changed.

So, it’s fine and all, but still! It’s just unprofessional. Not to mention that, because of school and conversion classes, I already have limited hours, but little things can hurt my chances!!!!

I’m just still really mad and very tired, I’ve been having restless nights for a few months now, I’ve been stressed about college and other things going on, and I don’t want to say anything to my friends or anyone because they either have their own things going on, or they would just turn around and make me feel worse by comparing me to them. Saying how good I have it, and making me feel like I’m not trying hard enough or just trying to get attention.

Well, at least tomorrow will be a good day.

Goodnight.

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